Friday, December 25, 2009
I'm anxious... Anxious beyond words. Sitting here on a leather couch in my apartment on Christmas Eve. 9 days until "Crazy Ways" is on shelves. 9 days until the release party. 9 days until I can add a “check ” next to "Make Full Length Album" on the TO DO LIST.
I've shared the album with some journalists and reviews are beginning to circulate. Not shocked by too much of what has been said. Reviews are meant to be critical. That’s the point right?!? I’m actually relieved to find so much positivity. Despite pouring every ounce of effort into the project for the past year, the perfectionist in me can still point out flaws in the album. Wondering things like, “is my point of view was conveyed thoroughly in this track?” Or “Is this compelling enough?” Well, shit. Art is art. Its permanent. Its timeless. It’s got a life of its own- imperfections and all.
This is both a super exciting time, but also a exceptionally nerve-racking one. I took a break from my woes over a nice enjoyable Italian "Goombah" Christmas Eve dinner with some family. I spent most of tonight’s festivities wondering, “what will 2010 hold for my career?” In retrospect, 2009 was spent with two major goals in mind- 1.) Complete "Crazy Ways" and 2.) Play live on a nightly basis. Well, I’m proud to type that I’ve successfully accomplished both. I now have the ability to pick and choose the gig offerings that come about AND (at any time) can freely wander my finger over to the iTunes playlist entitled “Crazy Ways” and click “play.”
Though, as the seconds tic closer to the release of the new album, I grow more and more anxious. What should be (at first glance) a time of rest and tranquility, is more accurately a period spent planning and rounding up the sheep (i.e. tour dates, co-ordination of band members schedules, trying to build fan/friend anticipation, and lining up promotions/distribution/budgeting).
Hopefully one day, I'll be able to have assistance on all those facets. And hopefully one day I'll be able to simplify this process into three concrete steps: "Create music," "Talk about music," and "Play music." A dreamer can dream…
At this point of the blog entry, (thanks to our gift of meta-cognition) a little voice reminds me that everything has value. All the extraneous tasks, self-promotion, and angst, are all part of my musical journey.
I look forward to reading this stream of consciousness in 5 years- and while laughing my ass off, muttering, "You impatient fool."
Merry Christmas to all- and to all a good night!